Here are ideas. Choose words appropriate for the person, the setting and your relationship, but be joyful.

~ The lesbian (or gay or bi or trans or queer) world is lucky to have you. Congratulations.

~ Wonderful discoveries and relationships await you. I'm so happy for you.

~ Congratulations...good wishes...happy fortunes

~ What could be better? This is extraordinary. I'm thrilled for you.

~ Thank you for trusting me with your news...now let's celebrate!

~ The Angels are applauding you and so am I.

~ I'm so proud of you.....I can't wait to hear more.

~ Cheers, cheers and more cheers.

~ I hold you in esteem, for being true to yourself and having such courage.

~ You help make the world a better place.

~ I am so very happy for you.

~ I wish you the very best in this new world and I want to be part of your life.

~ Bless you in your brave new and wonderful life.

~ I wish you a future of love, acceptance and equality.

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If you are struggling with homosexuality, please see the Get Help section.

And What Not to Say

Words have impact and can set the tone for your relationship and reverberate for years to come. Here are some tips to help you avoid hurting feelings, causing insult or creating rifts. You may not agree with the "positions" here but the suggestions offered encourage communication reflecting the most sensitivity at this time. Allow real, genuine discussion and connection but with intentional support. Error on the side of caution. Just as there are some areas of your life you would not share details about, know that talking about your difficulties with lgbtq rights is simply not necessary at this time. Your newly out person has gone through their life exposed to the same cultural biases you are holding; reminders are not needed. They have just completed soul searching of their own that has resulted in an explosive shift within their life and world. There may be a time when they can handle hearing about your fears, but the time is probably not now. Support them in the best way you are able -- gently and lovingly. The Help page offers education, support and relief to you.

Legalize Marriage

If you don't support it, don't bring it up. Whether your person is in favor of equal rights to marry or wants to get married, is beside the point. The endless discussions and political debate serve as continual reminders that we are a population not regarded with full acceptance. No matter what your reason to fail to support legal marriage, it is a statement that the lgbt population is not quite as good, not quite as deserving as the rest of the world. It hurts. Leave it alone. Domestic partnerships are not the same. They do not accord nearly as many rights and they are a formal statement of inadequacy -- of trying not hard enough to achieve equality. Domestic partnerships cannot even achieve separate but equal, they are simply not equal.

Worries for Children or Spouse

Rest assured that your newly out person knows only too well the difficulties that coming out presents to their children (or spouse or parent). They know it well. If you feel for them, the close and affected people, then do for them -- call them, visit them, surround them with your love. Let your newly out person have a momentary break from the guilt that inevitably arises around these issues. Keep your focus on them.

Gay Jokes

Stay away from them. Correct others. Explain the damage potential to children and teens, especially about the horribly derogatory adjective "gay", popular in adolescent culture now. If you think you can't resist, ask yourself, what will be gained by sharing this (probably homophobic) joke with your newly out person? Be gentle.

Equal Rights

If you aren't sure that you support equal rights stay away from the conversation. Equal rights for all people mean equal rights for lgbtq people as well. Equal rights are not subjective and they are easy to define -- the very same rights for every person in every area. No exceptions. Speak, treat and act with equity toward all people. Anything short of that is discrimination. If you don't support this, regardless of your justification, keep silent to protect your person from the hurt such positions generate.

Generalizations and Global Statements about LGBT

Avoid them. The lgbt world includes the same diversity of ethnicity, religion, gender, values, interests, professions, behaviors and so on as the rest of the world. Generalizations tend to go in a direction of stereotypes that historically have been homophobic. That kind of comment can hurt your newly out person's feelings, leading them to step away from you, rather than toward you.

Unsure What to Say?

Here is a handy trick. If you are wondering about the appropriateness of a comment then choose another group of non-majority people that you support and use the name of that group, rather than the lgbt label, in your statement. Generally, it will become instantly clear that it is a statement not worth saying. Another way to look at this question -- if you wonder if the statement or position is acceptable, then it probably is not.